Archive for January, 2010

Online giant buys Bavarian Republic

Wednesday, January 27th, 2010

Artifacts from the Future

Press Release
February 23rd 2032
Doogle buys Bavarian Republic

Today Doogle announced the acquisition of the breakaway Republic of Bavaria. The deal is valued at 5 trillion Euros, including a cash component, Doogle stock, and an earn-out bonus for every citizen.

For the first time in history a private institution acquires a sovereign nation. This takeover also marks the end of a decade-long independence, and period of immense prosperity in Bavaria.

Everything started when BavNicad AG invented the perpetual battery in late 2015, bringing unprecedented wealth, and foreign investment to the region. Within a few short years Bavaria was named the 15th largest economy in the world. A 2022 referendum, and 6 months conflict, affirmed Bavaria place on the world stage. The region became an independent Republic in 2023.

The time after the independence saw a tremendous housing boom, the rise of the Bavarian stock exchange, and immense investment in infrastructure, education, and entertainment. Early critics hinted at a housing bubble, and called the Franz Joseph tower (the world’s tallest building) in Munich outrageous.

In late 2030 things started to go wrong, when a series of explosions caused by faulty batteries killed 150 consumers, including 55 American pre-school students. The public outcry, collapse in demand, and lawsuits that followed sent BavNicad’s stock tumbling. Things got worse when BavNicad announced that it had mismanaged some of its investments, and lost a substantial portion of its cash holdings.

The company was declared “too big to fail” by the Bavarian government, but it became clear quickly that the government’s own deficit was too high to rescue the BavNicad. “We thoughts everything would always go up, said BavNicad CEO G.W. Rush. “We never expected a downturn”. Desperate, the Bavarians turned to Germany’s government, which – still bitter and alienated- declined to help.

The results were devastating: BavNicad declared bankruptcy in May, laid off all of its 300,000 employees, and sent the Bavarian economy into freefall.

According to rumors the Doogle corporate development team approach the Bavarian leadership in the early fall, and preliminary deal was struck in late winter. During her state of the Union Address in March of 2032 the Bavarian’s prime minister announced the Doogle offer to its people, and scheduled a national referendum for April 1st.

The voter turnout was immense, and with a 60% margin the Doogle buy-out offer was accepted by the Bavarian people.

The acquisition makes every government and BavNicad employee a Doogle employee, all public offices will be privatized, and the prime minister will become GM Bavaria and report directly to Doogle’s CEO Sergey Brin Jr. Citizens will remain owners of their private homes, but all public assets will become part of Doogle’s balance sheet. Third party companies located on the Bavarian Doogle campus will be allowed to continue operations in a normal fashion. However, taxes will be paid directly to Doogle through partnership agreements.

Doogle plans to outsource certain public offices such as fire departments, police, mail delivery, public transportation, and road construction,. RFPs are already in the market, with Blackstone and FedEx appearing to have an early lead.

“Buying Bavaria is a great infrastructure investment, and the logical next step for a company such as ours,” commented Sergey Brin. Its people are well educated and computer literate, its public technology infrastructure is amazing, and the public support has been great”, concluded Mr. Brin.

Some critics are comparing the acquisition to failed socialist experiments of the 20th century, but most economics are enthusiastic about the prospects.

It has been reported that a few Bavarian Doogle employees have resigned from their jobs, and left the Doogle campus for neighboring Germany or Austria.

Google expects mobile display to be material contributor in 2010

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

Nikesh Arora, president of global sales for Google, said display advertising had moved from being “nice” to an “essential part of any campaign our advertisers are planning.”

While mobile (display) is still nascent, Mr. Schmidt said he expected it to be a material contributor in 2010.